Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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