i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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