That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
