I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
