What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
