Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
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