I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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