I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Are we still banned from the library?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
