How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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