Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
