so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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