I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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