come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
