this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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