porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
It was confusing and full of hummus
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
