what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
