how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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