two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
