i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
