At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
