Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
ttyl tear gas
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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