I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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