I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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