So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
