dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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