she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
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