it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
