I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
