I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
