Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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