youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
