Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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