all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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