you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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