just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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