bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
