jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
