I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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