He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
