So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
