i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
