I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I think my moral compass just broke
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
