She's JV to your varsity
she smelled like a LAN party
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
