i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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