Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
