dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I have feelings that need drinking.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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