no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
