and you said cock pushups were impossible
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
