Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Bring me that man meat
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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