Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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