can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
